Aku Hanya Sebentar ; A Temporary Self.
8th Oct - 13th Nov 2022.
A group show under Temu House, this project was a collaborative effort between artists Ajim Juxta, Ivan Gabriel, Joanne Loo, Kimberley Boudville and yours truly, as well as curator Sharmin Parameswaran. This initially started as we talked about lived experiences and self dispositions through the pandemic, a disposition akin to being in a gray forest looking ahead through thick misty fog. But as time went on, as we had time to pause, regroup and realise, we found ourselves in adjustment of the dichotomies of lived versus new experiences, and through time we were continuously introduced to our temporary selves.
On a personal note, I aimed to showcase most of my body of work, culminated through the past two years, as a reflection of not only what I went through, but also with the benefit of hindsight.
Encapsulated under the umbrella of the "Return to Form" project, the "Skin and Bones" series were a set of ink drawings done in A1 size. Each of them started out as empty slates that over time grew into representations of various emotional and spiritual states I was in during their conception. Each piece took weeks to months to complete, studies of the self that are now individual time capsules of a person I no longer am.
1) Back and Forth
2) It Feels Like Too Much
3) The Hard Part is Over
4) Everything Will Be Alright
5) We Can Make This Work
60 cm x 85 cm each.
Next up were the We Are The Walls Within Which We Confine series, curated and selected for the show of course. These were deeply personal as well and truth be told I was not expecting to showcase these ever. The making of these helped me cope through living in my tiny room during quarantine, barely distinguishing between day and night, living like a zombie every day. My emotional catalyst that drove me out of that state begged to contemplate my own life through textures and form. Looking at them now I feel the use of geometric squares was a way to express my dire need of control at that time; control for my own life and the discipline to follow through.
1) We Are The Walls Within Which We Confine (i)
153 cm x 84 cm
Rubber Dye, Glue, Tissue on Canvas
2) We Are The Walls Within Which We Confine (iii)
153 cm x 84 cm
Rubber Dye, Acrylic, Glue, Tissue on Canvas
3) We Are The Walls Within Which We Confine (iv)
85 cm x 85 cm
Rubber Dye, Glue, Tissue on Canvas
4) We Are The Walls Within Which We Confine (v)
85 cm x 85 cm
Rubber Dye, Glue, Tissue on Canvas
As I grew dissatisfied with my expression through black and white, I noticed I had stopped craving order and control as much as I had already implemented it, and wanted to experiment even more. All under the context of the quarantine still, I chose to use natural tannins and iron oxide to demonstrate the complexities and beauties of the mind and body. In my head I was still painting a figure, although this time perhaps in a more psychological way. Being into fashion I've always been obsessed with leather as a textile. To me there's nothing which calls more directly into conversation sensations of touch and bodice, sensuality and mortality. So I wanted to replicate skin with this method.
Furthermore I had also utilised raw gesso as the medium for the geometric shapes, twisting the previously more rigid squares into more playful and sinewy complexities of the psyche, keeping the gesso's pigment (or lack of there-of) over the use of paint and such.
Again, like the previous series, these were condensed and curated to showcase only a few from the series, hence the discrepancies in numbering within their names.
1) Feelings That Cannot Be Named (i)
76.5 cm x 102 cm
Tannin, Oxidised Pigment, Tissue, Glue, Gesso on Canvas
2) Feelings That Cannot Be Named (x)
92 cm x 122.5 cm
Tannin, Oxidised Pigment, Tissue, Glue, Gesso on Canvas
3) Feelings That Cannot Be Named (vi)
23 cm x 31 cm
Tannin, Oxidised Pigment, Tissue, Glue, Gesso on Canvas
4) Feelings That Cannot Be Named (vii)
30 cm x 43 cm
Tannin, Oxidised Pigment, Tissue, Glue, Gesso on Canvas
5) Feelings That Cannot Be Named (ix)
23 cm x 31 cm
Tannin, Oxidised Pigment, Tissue, Glue, Gesso on Canvas
6) Untitled
42.5 cm x 60 cm
Tannin, Oxidised Pigment, Tissue, Glue on Canvas
Last but not least, having wrapped up the Skin and Bones series, I was still very much in love with the figure. I honed in on something I've highlighted within each of the drawings, that being the ribcage. The ribcage is extremely vital to us and our bodies. It houses some of our most important organs, namely our lungs, and our heart. Short of revealing too much of my own history, I realised I had severely mistreated both these things for the past few years, living through a sort of "reckless-abandon" combined with my addictive personality. Most of the drawings pictured figures with swollen and distended ribcages. They were protective, shell-like, but also could be an indication of something terrible going on within.
I wanted to commemorate, in a way, this feature. I kept dreaming of a ribcage made of steel, with skin stretched over it. Someday soon I hope to be able to fulfill this project with all the raw ingredients as stated, but before that happens, I wanted to showcase a prototype. 3D-rendered and printed, with latex/resin/spandex skin stretched over it. A true Return To Form.
- Of Addiction And Heartbreak
40 cm x 20 cm x 20 cm
PLA, resin, latex, stocking fabric, automobile spray on plastic and concrete stand
Ha you thought we were done? Oh no, as a side-note, my partner/fellow artist Kimberley and I decided to create this last minute collaborative sculpture/installation to tie our works together visually as well as a representation of our next phase of building a life together.
- Order / New Order
Variable dimensions
Polyurethane insulation foam, automobile spray, concrete
Overall I'm really grateful for this incredible experience and was easily the highlight of my 2022. Here are some pics of the exhibition set-up as well:
Comments